Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story For Little Kids About Divorce
November 11th, 2009 by admin | Filed under divorce.
With childlike innocence and humor, a young narrator living with his single father and brother explains divorce and it?s grown-up words ? like ?New Arrangement,? ?Ideal Situation,? and ?Differences? ? from a kid?s point-of-view. Special emphasis is placed on the fact that divorce is not the child?s fault, that it is a grown-up problem. Deals with practical day-to-day matters such as single-family homes, joint custody, child-care issues, and misunderstandings. Includes Note to Parents. Full-color illustrations through-out. For ages 2-6.
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As a professional Colorado divorce (attorney-trained) mediator, I don’t often fall in love with new children’s books about divorce; there are simply too many fine ones already out there. Sandra Levin’s Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story for Little Kids About Divorce, however, is a welcome exception, a total delight!
Chocolate Pudding perfectly captures the consterning confusion divorce ushers into the world of a six-year-old boy and his little brother. The boy just knows his mom moved out of their home, suddenly and without explanation — because he smeared chocolate pudding all over his brother one day. After all, he muses, “I was in big trouble mister!” for getting carried away in what seemed like just so much fun.
Levin’s picturebook world is accompanied by his reassuring voice patiently explaining to the young reader all these new and complex adult words and phrases:
‘Explaining’ is when you talk to somebody about something so they can understand it, even if that somebody is a little kid.
‘Differences’ is the grown-up word for everybody not liking the same thing and not always getting their way.
‘Adjusting-to-our-new-arrangement’ is what you do when you don’t have an ideal situation and it’s still okay.
Gorgeously illustrated by Bryan Langdo, Chocolate Pudding’s punchline is the boy’s huge relief upon discovering it was NOT his pudding antics that led his mom to leave the family. In fact, he learns, he and his brother didn’t have a darn thing to do with his family’s breakup! (And just to be sure that all kids hearing the story understand: “Relief,” he notes, “is the grown-up word for feeling like you’re carrying a big heavy book bag and someone takes it off your back.”)
Levin’s premise is that “big stuff like divorce needs some explaining,” and Chocolate Pudding is more than up to the task.
Highly recommended for young children (perhaps 2 to 6 years of age) and anyone touched by divorce’s sometimes long shadow.
really nice story to help children understand that divorce is not their fault, which is an almost-inevitable conclusion most kids under the age of 8 will draw. family in the story is obviously a middle class caucasian family having a pretty amicable divorce: families where there has been violence or more argument in front of the kids would want to add some sentences here and there. for example, “remember when mommy and daddy used to yell/hit/argue all the time? that was scary, wasn’t it? we didn’t want to scare you, so we decided we were better as friends than as husband and wife. i know it is hard to go from house to house, but now it is not scary and we both love you very much.” that sort of thing.
I am a social worker in private practice and I have read this book to many of my clients. It covers important issues/topics related to divorce and normalizes feelings. It is a particularly helpful tool for helping children understand that the divorce was not their fault.
Other helpful books for mental health professionals working with children of divorce include:
Creative Interventions for Children of Divorce
Where am I Sleeping Tonight? (A Story of Divorce)Dinosaurs Divorce
What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide for Kids