Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life
September 14th, 2009 by admin | Filed under divorce.
Review
Whether you are the one who leaves or the one who is left, divorce is a painful, wrenching experience, explains author Debbie Ford. Since Ford is comfortable dwelling in the shadow side of life, it’s not surprising that she believes that the excruciating pain of divorce can lead to enormous spiritual growth. “Emotional turmoil can be a powerful catalyst to reconnect us with our divine nature,” she writes. “It propels us into a journey of self discovery and urges us to learn how to love and accept our entire being.” Herein lies the promise of a “spiritual divorce.” Because Ford is a highly effective workshop leader, she has a knack for breaking down spiritual matters into manageable bites. She is also willi [Read More...]
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If you are thinking about ending your marriage, seperated or already divorced, Debbie Ford shines a bright light on the path toward reclaiming your spirit. You can spend years in therapy or sit down and absorb the insights that Debbie offers as she shares candidly and with great passion, the journey to not only heal, but rediscover who you are and where you are headed.
In a quote from Proust Debbie captures how we must shift our vision when confronted with the pain, fear, anger and uncertainty that divorce bestows upon us - “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
Through Ford’s new eyes and personal divorce experience, we learn from and make peace with what we are leaving behind and focus on what new vistas and opportunities are opening up for us. She offers 7 spiritual laws for healing and takes us through these stages with examples that we can all relate to. We begin with acceptance and move along through various stages, including forgiveness and accepting responsiblity. We transform this experience into a new future, filled with the power, energy and knowledge we have gathered from this life lesson.
Debbie guides us through this journey with support, warmth and enthusiasm and the reader is left with the vision of unlimited opportunities by seeing tomorrow through “new eyes”. I have read many books on divorce, but none as powerful,hopeful and motivating as “Spiritual Divorce”. Thank you Ms. Ford for lighting the way for me.
The basic mantra of this book is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and until you let go of your anger toward your former SO, you won’t heal. This message is repeated over and over, in many very helpful ways.
When I was first seperated, I was a victim of cloudy thinking, life as I knew it was over. And while that was true, it has become a spring board for personal growth and a new life. It’s the no pain, no gain theory of life. While I would not advocate this life experience as good plan, if it happens to you, you might as well use it as an opportunity to grow.
While it has been a number of years since the divorce, I still found some good information about myself within the pages of this book. Plus it was an affirmation that the course I was on is the right one. (Also people thinking about getting married, might do well to read this for the information on how not to choose a mate, as Ms. Ford goes over what happened with her marriage. The misplaced expectations and poor commuincation.)
“A Spiritual Divorce is one in which we use our divorce to improve our lives and our experience becomes one of gain rather than loss,” Debbie Ford writes in the opening pages of her 209-page guide to an extraordinary life after divorce. “A Spiritual Divorce brings us back into the presence of our highest self and heals the split between our ego and our soul” (p. 5). After studying Transpersonal Psychology at JFK University (p. 29), Ford became a healing workshop facilitator at the Chopra Center for Well Being. She writes from experience, and she knows the pain of divorce.
The “divorce drama” leaves many of us feeling diminished and bereft. I’ve learned from my own experience there is no set timetable for recovery from divorce. After my divorce, while others advised me to “get mad and get over,” my heart told me to embrace my loss and integrate it along with the pain into my new life. This is also the premise of Ford’s book which, after several readings, has helped me move beyond a very painful place in my life. She encourages us to step into the storm of of our turbulent emotions, for “we can’t heal what we can’t feel” (p. 80). The painful experience of divorce represents “a sacred and significant time” in our lives that provides us with an opportunity to know our deepest selves (p. 80). In that respect, divorce is like a gift from the universe.
After an insightful Foreward by Neale Donald Walsh, Ford’s book follows “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce:” Acceptance (pp. 11-38); Surrender (pp. 39-56); Divine Guidance (pp. 57-74); Responsibility (pp. 75-126); Choice (pp. 127-66); Forgiveness (pp. 167-86); and Creation (pp. 187-210), showing us along the way, that the breakdown of one’s marriage is for the highest good (p. 9), that suffering is really nothing more than the difference between what is and what we want it to be (p. 49), and that we have a choice in how we interpret our experiences (pp. 136-47). Ford encourages us to think of divorce as an enlightening experience, a spiritual wake-up call, and an opportunity for renewal rather than ruin. For anyone hoping to recover from a failed relationship, SPIRITUAL DIVORCE is a step in the right direction. And for anyone who has made the painful journey through a failed marriage, reading Ford’s SPIRITUAL DIVORCE might just leave you wanting to send your ex-spouse a thank-you card.
G. Merritt