Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence
September 8th, 2009 by admin | Filed under social.
From Publishers Weekly
As a therapist who has led social-anxiety support groups and a shy person herself, Hilliard is well qualified to counsel those who want to feel less apprehensive in social situations. According to Hilliard, social anxiety and fear of rejection can be so severe that they prevent the sufferer from spending time with others. In an encouraging and friendly tone and drawing on patients’ stories, Hilliard offers an action plan to combat this fear. The cornerstone is setting small but effective goals that are measurable, consistent and repeatable, such as initiating a conversation with one person every day. Hilliard also recommends specific verbal and physical techniques to reduce anxiety about job interviews, p [Read More...]
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Tags: Anxiety, Comprehensive, Confidence, Fully, Gaining, Guide, Living, Shyness, social
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The book begins with the usual discussion about the symptoms of social anxiety. But then the author goes into presenting some ideas that are novel to the broader discussion of social anxiety. An example of this is how anxiety is a process rather than a fixed thing. Yes, this is a simple idea and yet it provides a new perspective on social anxiety that makes the condition less monolithic and more changeable.
The author also presents a must-read section that ties in information that has come out of recent scientific research about how the brain works.
The author’s insights and information are easier to hear and therefore easier to apply in our own lives thanks to her easy and fresh writing style. She writes with a natural feel that is strikingly authentic in the face of the more dry, scholarly writing of other social anxiety books.
The second half of the book then offers solutions in the form of goal-setting, visualization, therapy options and skill-building. Her emphasis on action takes more of a coaching approach than the traditional therapy models and this keeps us from just dreaming about what we want and actually forces us to move forward.
If you are going to buy only one book on social anxiety, this is it. This book that not only compassionately presents various perspectives on social anxiety, but it also offers a vast array of solutions. These solutions are divided into easy to follow areas of mind, body and action. Once you’ve figured out how social anxiety affects you most, you can choose exactly which solutions suit you best. For extra guidance, there’s an excellent appendix item full of goals that you can choose from, again, divided into areas of body, mind and action. I highly recommend this book.
The author clearly explains how shyness is a normal human emotion which sometimes becomes excessive in ways that block the fulfillment of personal goals. This book provides significant insights into how and why contemporary North American culture can be a particularly difficult social environment for shy people. Erika Hilliard advocates an approach through which a person can accept what is positive about being shy while at the same time learning how to work through excessive shyness, one step at a time. Her many years of experience as a leader of groups for shy people shine through in her rich examples and warm tone that help the shy reader feel not only informed but also truly understood. Her concluding chapter is an outstanding guide to how a shy person can use this book as a resource for renewing and maintaining motivation in spite of setbacks that might be encountered.